Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
