I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
