alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
