I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
