i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
