I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
