can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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