we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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