That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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