Me too!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
