1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
