Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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