he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
