Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
