She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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