And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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