He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
