how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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