We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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