yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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