THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
