matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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