tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
