Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
