grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
