my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
