I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
