Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
