Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
