No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
