I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
