the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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