Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
