Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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