the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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