I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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