Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
