it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
