I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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