I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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