I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
