weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
