i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
