I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
