got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
