I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My pussy is not your playground.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
