i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
