I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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