paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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