So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
4 words: hood of his car
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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