After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
