garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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