so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
